Happy Father's Day

I want to wish a Happy Father's Day to all those quirky dads out there. For those out there who forgot what a "father" is, have no fear--here is the Wikipedia page to give you a refresher (notice the top photo chosen for that wiki...it's pretty damn funny).

I'll keep this short and sweet because we are all grateful for the fathers and father-like figures we all have in our lives, but here are a couple personal favorite things my dad has taught me:

1. How to wash and wax a car properly. To many dads, mine especially, washing and waxing a car is not just another routine you can do on a sunny Saturday afternoon. It's a freaking science. My dad first taught me how to wash a car properly in middle school--from where to start washing, to what type of washing strokes you should have while washing. He also made sure to show me all the spots where so many people forget to wash (i.e. the wheel wells, the bottommost part under the front grill, etc.). Sounds excessive, but I wouldn't wash my or anyone's car any other way. And waxing--well, that's an even more exact science. But thanks to all the waxing lessons, I can make a car look nicer than a "cat's ass"...a phrase I also learned from good ol' dad.

2. How to mow the lawn as if you are preparing it for a Beautiful Lawn Contest. Much like washing and waxing cars, mowing the lawn is something I've grown to take very seriously. Never cutting the lawn with the same horizontal pattern and making the lawn look classier with a diagonal cut--all dad. Of course, that mainly applies to the front yard only because, honestly, who gives a crap about the backyard? It's all about the front yard pride.

3. Sweating profusely...and enjoying it. Thankfully, I've inherited my dad's sweat glands, which produce roughly 30 liters of perspiration per hour on a normal 70-75 degree day. Many people are disgusted by their own sweat. Sure, it's acidic as hell and makes you smell like a dog, but my dad and I wear it as a badge of honor. It shows that we're working our butts off--and a strong work ethic has always been a great characteristic of my dad.

Video of the Day: Sometimes, don't you just want to punch everyone at Fox News right in the face? For those who don't get that urge from time to time, maybe this will trigger that feeling.